futile devices

“is it better to speak?”

what i mean to say.

i want to tell you i love you  in the many ways i can but what is the use?

what use are my words if they still fail to express my yearning heart?

my love exists on a level language begs to reach.

that’s why i stay in silence, it has its way of teaching me what the truth looks like.

i’ve searched for a word that can hold the intensity of my feel. language keeps offering me vessels too small to carry it.

but i’d stay here,

collecting words till they turn to an archive knowing their ink would fade before they reach the fullness of what i feel.

still  i’d give you.

they’re not enough but they’re all i have.

and maybe one day technology would reach its flow state deliver my feelings to you the same way my heart sends them.

---

to speak.

But oh to speak,

to have my words delivered with the intensity of the heart that sends them.

to speak and open the well of my words and let your heart drink from the waters of my thoughts.

Oh to lay the weight of my feelings and have you bear them with me.

I hope one day my love arrives in full and not smaller than the heart that sends them.

As this devices called words maybe futile.